


trust

by MrGrumpyGills43



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Established Relationship, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Souji, Insecure Yosuke, M/M, Underage Drinking, insecure everyone, we're all insecure in this fic tonight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 17:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11295189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrGrumpyGills43/pseuds/MrGrumpyGills43
Summary: He took another step back, heart throbbing. “I shouldn’t have believed you. All you did was lie and hurt me for your own entertainment.” A humorless laugh erupted from his chest as he finally looked Souji in the eye. Hot tears ran down his cheeks as he curled his lips. “You’re the exact same as Adachi. Manipulative and untrustworthy.”





	trust

“I just… I don’t love you anymore. I’m sorry.” 

The words shot through Yosuke. He took two, three, four steps back before breaking into an uneasy smile. “C’mon, partner. That isn’t funny. Stop joking around.”

Souji averted his gaze, his eyes betraying a sense of guilt that he knew Yosuke would be able to read. “I’m not trying to be funny. I can’t keep pretending and leading you on. It’s not fair for you.”

Yosuke’s chest clenched tightly and he found it hard to breathe. Memories of times when he sobbed in his boyfriend, no, ex-boyfriend’s arms about being unlovable and afraid of falling in love ran through his mind. The scenes were twisted now, and all he could think of was that Souji didn’t mean any of the assurances that were whispered to him. That were _just_ for him.

He took another step back, heart throbbing. “I shouldn’t have believed you. All you did was lie and hurt me for your own entertainment.” A humorless laugh erupted from his chest as he finally looked Souji in the eye. Hot tears ran down his cheeks as he curled his lips. “You’re the exact same as Adachi. Manipulative and untrustworthy.”

Souji’s hands shook at his sides, from anger or hurt Yosuke didn’t care to know. “That’s not what happened. I _did_ love you at one point. I just don’t feel that way anymore. I’ve tried to bring it back, but I can’t. I’d rather break it off with you than keep playing with your feelings.”

“You expect me to believe that? I can’t trust a word that comes out of that mouth of yours. You…” Yosuke huffed, his tears coming out faster and face turning redder. “Don’t talk to me ever again. There’s… You can’t fix this, Seta. This decision is… the end of us. Of anything that you hoped would stay between us. It’s over.”

With that, Yosuke left. He blared his music loud enough for the people passing by to pick out the individual words. There was no one who stayed in his path, almost as if they sensed the event that just took place. As if they knew that not even the compassionate and caring Souji Seta wanted anything to do with him.

Teddie didn’t try to console or talk to his roommate, finding a different place to sleep for the night when it was clear that Yosuke wanted to be alone for a while. The tears hadn’t stopped flowing since he had last seen Souji and the ache in his chest hadn’t let up.

Flashbacks of their time spent together had what seemed to be a dark film over them. Sweet, quiet moments were now menacing and made Yosuke cry even harder. The comforting words that Souji once whispered to him were irrelevant, meaningless. Times that seemed they would last forever dissolved with the harsh reminder that he wasn’t loved.

He wasn’t loved.

The thought hit him like a sucker punch, making him curl up in pain. He wasn’t worthy of love, this event only proved for that to be fact. The short time that Souji and he dated was only a façade, a trick, an illusion.

Sleep didn’t come easy that night, eventually having Yosuke resort to sleeping medicine.

The morning started with a groggy vagueness that made him reach for his phone instinctively. It wasn’t until he saw the unread messages from the Investigation Team- sin Souji -that everything came rushing back. It hurt. Even in his sleep-deprived state, it hurt. He chose to not answer any questions, deciding to wait until he was at school to ease his friends’ concerns.

As soon as he walked into homeroom, the atmosphere tensed. _Did_ everyone _at school already know? Souji wouldn’t tell anyone that fast, would he?_ Yosuke’s thoughts soured as he slumped into his seat, thanking whatever deity that was listening that the object of his thoughts wasn’t there. Of course, that led to Yukiko taking his place so her and Chie were able to fret over Yosuke.

“Woah, you look like shit,” Chie greeted, leaning in close to look Yosuke up and down. She flinched when she realized the sting her words left. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Are you okay though? Teddie told us he felt something was… off with you last night.”

“Yeah, and Seta-san wouldn’t answer the phone when I texted him. I’m worried about the two of you,” Yukiko fussed, propping her head up on her hand. “We just want to make sure that everything’s okay, Yosuke. We care about you.”

The double reminder made Yosuke’s stomach flip. He didn’t want to say it out loud. If he said it out loud, then it was real. It wouldn’t just be a nightmare. He had to confirm it though. If not for the girls to leave him be, then for his own sake. He took a deep, steadying breath. “Last night, Seta-”

Before he could get a full sentence out, Kashiwagi entered the classroom. Yosuke couldn’t help but be happy about the interruption. The topic was put off until lunch at least as their teacher blabbed on about her latest failed relationship.

For the rest of school before lunch, Yosuke found himself paying attention to the various lectures. They managed to keep his mind of off everything else that had been going on. It didn’t stop his anxiety over explaining what happened, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.

Yosuke wasn’t surprised to find the rest of the Investigation Team on the roof waiting for him. He took his time as he settled in their circle and brought out his lunch. He took a deep breath before looking around at the face of his friends. “I… Seta and I are no longer dating,” he admitted, digging his fingernails into his upper arm to keep from crying again. “He said he didn’t love me anymore.”

Sympathetic gazes met his. He didn’t expect anyone to be on his side of things. Especially since they all admired Souji more than him from the beginning. That fact had stopped stinging a long time ago though.

Chie was the first to respond, her face going through a mixture of emotions before settling on distraught. “I didn’t think that was possible judging from how he looked at you. Even yesterday nothing seemed off. Something must be up.”

“Maybe his parents found out and forced him to dump you?” Naoto suggested, her hand moving to her chin into a thoughtful expression. “Neither one of you had come out to your parents in fear of their reactions, right?”

Yosuke nodded mutely. Then the group began murmuring amongst themselves about what it could be. They were so entranced that they didn’t even notice Yosuke leave.

He walked out of the school without any other care in the world. None of them were _there._ They didn’t see the look in Souji’s eyes. Even then, none of them had the ability to read the stoic boy like he did. He didn’t want hear their implausible theories.

The next thing Yosuke knew, he was at the riverbank with a half-empty bottle of liquor in his hand. He couldn’t remember where he got it or how he got to the riverbank. He knew he’d have a killer hangover, but anything was easier than feeling so much pain.

He was sitting on the dock when a new body accompanied him. It only took a moment for him to recognize Kanji, who was looking up at the stars. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Yosuke-senpai,” he said. It was nothing, but it meant a lot to Yosuke anyway.

Before he understood what he was doing, Yosuke leaned into Kanji who quickly pulled back. Hands on his shoulders kept him from going any further. “S-sorry, Kanji. I don’t know what-”

Another interruption by Kanji’s phone going off. He kept one hand on Yosuke, easily turning it into a side hug. “Yeah? Yeah, I found him. He’s drunk, but okay. I think I’m just going to take him home. Yeah, okay. See ya.”

While the conversation dragged on, Yosuke had chosen to stifle any tears by drinking more of the booze. It burned as it went down. He wanted more. He wanted to focus on something other than the pain he was in. He wanted for everything to stop hurting him.

As soon as he tried to take another drink, the bottle was pulled out of his grasp. With a disappointed glare, Kanji held the glass far out of Yosuke’s reach. “I know this entire situation is fucked up and it sucks, but drinking isn’t going to help you.”

_But it is. It makes me numb. It makes me forget. It makes me feel like… like I’m still loved._ Yosuke’s thoughts were left unspoken as he felt guilt wash over him. Kanji cared enough about him to look for him. He didn’t deserve whatever it was that Yosuke was trying to pull off. “Sorry.”

Kanji softened, standing up and reaching down to help Yosuke up. “C’mon, let’s get you home. It’s been a hard day and you must be exhausted.”

The shorter boy didn’t complain. He allowed himself to be practically picked up by Kanji as they began to walk. He swore he saw a glimmer of greys and whites out of the corner of his eye, but blamed it on his drunk state.

\--

The next morning saw nothing but blessings being given to Yosuke. His parents let him stay home after he threw up, the hangover proving to do some good. Teddie promised to be quiet as long as he could stay in Yosuke’s room. All in all the brunet just wanted to sleep. Of course, he wasn’t lucky enough to get _that_ wish.

He was left to stare blankly into space. Exhaustion did nothing but burn his eyes, no more tears left to be shed. He almost didn’t notice the weight that was Teddie join him on his bed. True to his word, the bear said nothing, but just laid there. His eyes betrayed hidden sympathy and worry.

Without even asking, Yosuke wrapped his arms around the smaller boy in a hug. There were no complaints, no questions. Only silent breathing filled the room. Having someone by his side comforted Yosuke; although, he’d never admit it to the promiscuous bear.

Hours flew by as the two stayed in that position. It wasn’t until Yosuke heard the quiet chittering of his friends that he realized he had fallen asleep. He sat up groggily, pulling his comforter around him to form a small cocoon. The faces of Chie, Yukiko, Kanji, Rise, and Naoto greeted him. Teddie was gone, presumably taking over Yosuke’s missed shift at Junes.

Kanji walked over with a pot in his hands. His face was tinged with pink, but Yosuke accepted the meal with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Kanji. I hope I wasn’t too much trouble last night.”

The laugh that escaped Kanji surprised Yosuke, but the taller boy was smiling. “Don’t worry about it, Yosuke. After all, what are friends for?”

Rise came close to the bed, hands on her hips and lips trained into a pout. “We were worried about you, senpai! You left school early and no one knew where you had gone. Don’t go around scaring us like that, okay? No one wants to see you hurt.”

The words had a strong effect on Yosuke who had come to believe that the former idol would be taking care of Souji over him. He felt his face flush as he stared down at his soup, presumably homemade by Kanji or his mother. “I…” he began before looking around at all of his friends. “I can’t thank you guys enough for just… being here. It means a lot to me.”

“Well of course we’d be here, Yosuke! You’re our friend, too. Just because you and Souji broke up doesn’t mean that we’re all going to pick him over you or vice versa,” Chie said with confidence, her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive measure. Her tapping foot didn’t escape Yosuke’s notice though. She was worried, even if she wouldn’t say it out loud.

Similar proclamations and chattering quickly filled the room. It was enough to get Yosuke to really smile for the first time since the break up. He was with the people who cared about him, who loved him enough to cook and fuss over him. He had them the entire time, he just had to take notice.

\--

Two weeks had passed before Souji had even attempted to wrangle Yosuke into a conversation. It took another week for him to corner the brunet and force them to have a talk. Trapped on the roof with no one else around, Yosuke’s mood had soured considerably. Souji pretended to not take notice as he paced in front of the doorway.

“I know that you’re still mad at me, hell I would be too with what I did.” Souji’s words were rushed and he was waving his hands around. It was rare for him to be so… unorganized like this. Yosuke decided he might as well listen to what his ex-boyfriend had to say if it was affecting him like this. “It was… My parents found out. I don’t know how and Dojima is just as clueless. They _made me_ say that shit to you. They made me say it in return that I would stay here for the rest of the school year. I hate what it did, what it’s _done_ to us. I just… I miss you.”

By the end of the speech, Souji had stopped in front of Yosuke and his voice had grown softer. He didn’t dare look up at the other boy, focusing intently on his hands instead. Yosuke wanted nothing more to embrace the silver-haired youth, but distrust and fear held him back.

He took a hesitant step back and crossed his arms over his chest. “How do I know that this… this wasn’t some _ploy_ to make a fool out of me. Better yet, if this is really true, then why didn’t you tell me? You know I would’ve understood or helped you out or-” Yosuke’s voice cracked as the rest of the pent-up tears began spilling out. He pushed through it, determined to say what all he wanted to say. “You broke my fucking _heart_ , Souji. That… that can’t be fixed by pulling this shitty story out of your ass. What’s the truth? Just… tell me the truth, please.”

Souji’s hands flexed at his sides. Yosuke hadn’t read the other’s expressions and movements in weeks, but still knew that Souji was fixing to share some deep emotions he’d kept hidden for a while. “You… You’re right.” The admittance was weak, almost inaudible. “I was scared of how well things were going. I’ve never had _anyone_ see and know everything about me and love me through it. My parents… my parents never liked how ‘weird’ I am. They sent me to different boarding schools across the country to try and ‘fix’ it, but it never worked. You, Yosuke, are different though. Even with my faults and breaking points, you’re still there. You aren’t like my parents or friends who only like the stoic me. It was terrifying.”

The confession stunned Yosuke into silence. His leader, partner, ex-boyfriend, was afraid of commitment. The same worries that encompassed Yosuke and induced panic attack after panic attack were shared by Souji.

Yosuke began walking forward automatically, encasing Souji in a tight hug. “You asshole,” he whispered, tears growing in intensity. “I’m not going to stop loving you even if you stop loving me. You are perfect, Souji Seta. Just… don’t push me away again.” He pulled back, wiping away identically tears that streamed down Souji’s face. “Anything that hurts you, that worries you, that stresses you, can be shared with me. I’ll keep your secrets. I’ll love you like you love me.”

It was a promise. A promise that Yosuke swore to himself that he’d never break, especially not after he saw how insecure Souji really was. He still needed to forgive Souji for coming up with the entire scheme in the first place, but it was nice to be with his boyfriend again. To feel loved again.


End file.
